


Let Me Be Your Lullaby

by Hikaru Yuy (SailorVFan10)



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 00:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8381257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorVFan10/pseuds/Hikaru%20Yuy
Summary: "Do you remember when you asked me where I saw myself years from now? When I dodged the question and said I didn't know? We were sitting  by the water, and you hesitated before putting your arm around me, because we had just started dating and everything was awkward and new."
Relena and Heero have been dating for a while when one day he takes her to the place where they first met. After the hit of nostalgia, Heero hands her a note that ends with a question for her to answer.





	1. Do You Remember?

_Do you remember?_  
_We were sitting here by the water._  
_You put your arm around me for the first time._  
_You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter._

Relena hadn't been to this beach in four years. Four years and it felt like two decades, like so much time had passed and yet it hadn't. This same beach that used to share a space with a military spaceport no longer saw military jets flying overhead--they were just a memory of a time when fighting was necessary if one wanted to survive. It was deserted and hardly used and that suited Relena just fine. This was a trip born of nostalgia and nothing more.

This shoreline had changed her life.

"I think that's where I washed up, isn't it?"

The voice cut through her thoughts as she looked over to where Heero was standing, the sea breeze ruffling his hair, still a perpetual mess, and caused ripples in his t-shirt.

"I believe so," she said, as she walked over to the spot where four years ago a fifteen year old boy in a military spacesuit had washed up, unconscious and barely breathing. "This is where I sat as you freaked out because I saw your face."

Heero chuckled a little as he watched a few seagulls fly overhead.

"It was supposed to be a secret mission," Heero said, "and there you were able to see my face and ID me."

Relena smiled. "So much for a secret." She turned to face him. "But you didn't have us come all the way here just to reminisce."

He shook his head.

"Then what?"

Heero pulled out an envelope from his back jeans pocket.

"What is this?"

"It's a letter," Heero said, his voice soft. "Something I wrote a while ago and had no opportunity until now to give it to you."

Relena quirked an eyebrow.

"Something this important needed the right opportunity." He handed the envelope to her. "This isn't your ordinary, average letter."

Relena's eyes widened, curiosity filling them as she turned the envelope over in her hands, her name written so neatly on the front--"neat" being relative to his usual penmanship. She opened the flap of the envelope and pulled out the folded letter inside.

"I don't know whether I should rip it up or not," she said, a hint of amusement in her voice.

"You can do that after you read it," Heero answered. "It's just a photocopy. I have the original if you wanna keep it."

Relena looked down at the letter, written in Heero's somewhat messy scrawl, a little more than a page, which was surprising since Relena had seen Heero's writings before, and they tended to be on the lengthier side, a few pages at the least.

_ I chose this beach , the letter began,  because it's where we first met. Officially. Today is 6 April, an important day historically speaking, with the early start of Operation M. Personally speaking, it's the day that I'm going to answer that question you asked me when we turned seventeen. _

_ Do you remember when you asked me where I saw myself years from now? When I dodged the question and said I didn't know? We were sitting  by the water, and you hesitated before putting your arm around me, because we had just started dating and everything was awkward and new. I kept telling you I didn't know, how could I know? Seventeen is too young to be able to answer that question. At that time it was true, because I'd never given myself much thought for the future, it was always the here and now, what am I going to do ten seconds, ten minutes, from now.  I didn't even expected to survive the Eve Wars, let alone figure out what to do when people like me became redundant in this new world. _

_ You said to me the next time we come back here, I'd better have an answer. _

_ At nineteen I have an answer. _

_ It's with you. _

Relena felt her cheeks warm considerably despite how cool it was on the beach.

_ It might seem obvious now because we're together, but that only means that I've had time to think about it. About us. About the future and what lies ahead. There are no  signs that tell us if there are detours ahead, or road closures, but we'll figure it out as we go. I can't promise that things will be easy. But whatever comes now... I want to face it together. _

Relena turned the letter over.

_ Now I have a question for you, but unlike you I don't want to wait.  _

_ Relena Darlian... Will you marry me? _

She read it again. And again. And then once more, in case she'd misread it the first two times. She looked up, and Heero was stood there, arms crossed, waiting for her response in such a nonchalant way that Relena wondered if she was just imagining the letter in her hands, or if this was just some kind of dream--no, if it were a dream, Heero would be smiling, with his arms outstretched, maybe laughing, maybe hugging her or kissing her, surely something more romantic than what he was doing right now. The paper crinkled from the breeze and the grain of it resisted against her fingertips, too real and solid to be imagined or dreamt.

It was the look in his eyes that told her all she needed to know, however. This pleading look. And as she looked harder, she could see how tense his muscles were under the thin fabric of the shirt covering his tank top. He was just as nervous as she was; he was better at hiding his emotions than she was.

"Heero..." She nearly whispered it. There were tears in her eyes that she tried to blink away to no avail. Heero wiped them away with his thumb.

"What's your answer, Relena?"

"Are the tears of happiness not enough?"

Heero scoffed. "Those could be tears of remorse for all I know."

Relena smiled. "They're tears of happiness, I can assure you."

And to prove her point, she folded up the letter and ripped it in half.

Heero laughed a little before taking her in his arms and kissing her.

"Can you promise me something?" he asked after they broke off the kiss.

"What's that?" She held the two ripped halves in her hands still, which were balled up against his chest.

"Promise me you won't do that with our wedding invitations."

"Of course I won't," Relena said. "It might be bad luck if I did."

Heero took the two ripped pieces from her and tore them up a bit more before scattering them in the wind and then kissed her again.


	2. Don't You Think It's Ironic?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You don't think it's the least bit ironic that a pacifist is marrying an ex-Gundam pilot?"  
> Relena wrapped her arms around his shoulders.  
> "Not one bit," she said. 
> 
> Heero gets to meet his future mother-in-law.

_I'm just accustomed to you_  
_This love burns bright_  
_Since the moment you called me "Mine"_

Not terribly long after Heero popped the question to Relena, it had been decided that Heero should have an official 'meet the parents' dinner. Heero had it easier than most, what with Relena only having one parent, but he wasn't exactly the kind of boy someone would bring home and introduce to their parents, if that made sense. He didn't have that 'boy next door' charm, nor did he come off as being sweet natured. Relena wasn't sure how to broach the subject with her mother, so she never did.

_Let the first impression speak for itself_ , Relena thought, as she sat in Heero's bedroom watching him scramble for something Relena would describe as 'nice'. His tank top and lounge pants, she told him, didn't fit that definition.  
"Maybe we should've gone shopping," Relena said, as she idly moved from side to side in his computer chair.  
"No," Heero said, pulling out different button down shirts from their hangers located towards the deepest, darkest area of his closet. "I've got nicer clothes in here somewhere, I just have to find them."  
"Maybe we should've called my brother. He might have something to lend you."

Heero gave her a look on the way to throw shirts onto his bed.  
"I don't like owing favours to Zechs."  
"I doubt Milliardo would ask you for anything, that hatchet's been buried for years now." Her eyes spied a dark blue dress shirt. "What about that one?"  
Heero emerged with a pair of black denim trousers. "What one?"  
Relena pointed at the shirt on top of the pile. "That one."  
"We're gonna be one of those couples that coordinate our outfits, aren't we?"  
Relena laughed. She did have to admit, the shirt _would_ look great with her equally blue cocktail dress.

Heero gestured for her to turn around before he switched his lounge pants for more respectable black jeans. Relena didn't make any attempts to turn around just enough to catch a glimpse of anything 'interesting', though she was tempted. Heero didn't care at all if she saw anything, but Relena wasn't sure if she was comfortable enough yet with that sort of 'intimacy'.  
"It's safe to look," Heero said. Relena turned the chair around and though Heero had pants on, they were still completely undone as he padded around looking for socks.

Relena's face never burned so hot before, mostly because Heero wasn't wearing any kind of underwear, and she couldn't stop her eyes from tracing a path down his bared skin, down to just above his—  
_Relena, stop looking right now_ , she mentally scolded. Thankfully she didn't have to because Heero tucked in his tank top and did his jeans up.  
"Are you okay?"  
"Yes," Relena said, as she tried to regain her composure. "I'm just fine."  
Heero shrugged on the button down shirt before doing up all of the buttons save for the top two.

"I'm not wearing a tie," Heero said. "I don't even own any."  
"This dinner isn't a formal affair, Heero," Relena said. "You look rather handsome dressed up like this."  
Heero buttoned up the shirt cuffs. "Do I?" There was a hint of amusement in his voice. Relena took a moment to stand and straighten out the skirt of her dress before walking over to fix the collar of his shirt.  
"Yes," Relena said, before kissing him. "Though you always look handsome to me, tonight you look especially so."  
"When do we have to be there?"  
Relena looked at her watch. "An hour." She looked into his eyes, which appeared even bluer than usual thanks to his shirt. "Why?"

Heero flopped onto his computer chair before taking Relena's hand and pulling her towards him.  
"I wanted a chance to look at you before I go meet your mother," Heero said, referring to her dress. "That's all."  
Relena did a little twirl for him. "You like it?"  
Heero nodded, and Relena felt his gaze travel up her legs.  
"I do. A lot." He gently pulled her forward by her hand just a little more before kissing her harder than he had. Relena's hands gripped his shoulders as her knee rested on the seat of the chair by the arm rest, just barely making contact with the rough fabric of his pants. She paused, pulling away a little so she could speak.

"Just kissing," Relena murmured.  
"Nothing else," Heero promised, as if this was a routine for them, barely finishing his sentence before Relena kissed him again.

* * *

The sun had just started setting when Heero and Relena made their way out the door and into Heero's car; Relena shivered a little as she pulled her shawl tighter around her.  
"You can tell autumn is coming," she said, as she sat on the seat and readjusted her skirt before swinging both legs inside. There was a very specific way a woman wearing a shorter skirt had to enter a car, and Relena was an absolute master of it. Not that anyone would be able to see anything anyway, since Heero was in the way, it was just out of habit at this point.  
"Maybe you should've brought something outside of some thin scrap of fabric."  
"That's why a gentleman lends his lady his jacket," Relena teased. Heero rummaged around in the back seat just behind her before handing her a black zip up hoodie, which matched her shawl and the top part of her dress just nicely.  
"I was only teasing," Relena said. She pulled it around her anyway, breathing in his scent.  
"I know."

They drove mostly in silence. Heero had the news playing on the car radio, which was currently talking about traffic delays and road closures, just loud enough to make out what they were saying, but not enough to discourage any conversation.  
"I've been thinking about this lately," Relena began, her fingers toying with her necklace.  
"About the dinner?"  
"About introducing you. And I wondered... What do you want me to introduce you as?"  
Heero glanced at her out of the corner of his eye as he waited in a turn lane.  
"Your fiancé, of course." His brow furrowed in confusion.  
"Well yes." Relena sighed. She wasn't usually this nervous for events, but the usual dinner parties and engagements she would attend as the vice foreign minister were less personal. This was personal, deeply so, and she was attending as Relena, not Vice Foreign Minister Darlian.  
"You're talking about my name, aren't you." It wasn't a question.  
"You've mentioned in the past that after the war you were thinking of changing your name to something more 'inconspicuous'."

Heero made the left turn a lot more sharper than he should have, only because someone decided to try and beat a red light, and really, Heero didn't feel like getting in a car accident a half hour before meeting his future mother-in-law. Especially when her daughter was in his car.  
"It's something I've thought about, yeah."  
"So I thought...if you went through with it..."  
"If I wanted to, I would've by now."

There was a beat of silence.  
"So when I introduce you to my mother, I can say, 'This is my fiancé Heero Yuy'?"  
"It's legally my name," Heero answered. "Not that it matters. Even if I changed my name, there would still be some people calling me 'Heero'. Look at your brother, he goes by Milliardo and yet Noin and everyone else except for you calls him 'Zechs'."  
_Because that's what they're used to,_ Relena thought. "I just figured this was something we needed to discuss, to ensure that we were both on the same page."  
"That's fine. I'm just not that worried about what my name is anymore—names are just something someone calls you, or at least that's what someone told me once."

Relena reached for Heero's hand, which was on top of the gearshift, and rested her hand on top of his. It stayed there the rest of the car ride, even when he changed gears.  
"You'll always be Heero to me, regardless of what anyone else calls you."

* * *

The place Relena's mother had picked for the dinner was pretty swanky, though it wasn't swanky enough to require a dress code. Despite this, Heero noticed that the majority of patrons were dressed in somewhat nice clothing—no t-shirts or flip flops or anything like that. Heero noticed Relena was holding his hand a little tighter than usual.  
_She's not usually this nervous._ Most people never saw Relena nervous or anxious. Heero had a few times. _Sometimes I wonder if people remember that Relena is human like the rest of us._

Relena didn't have a reason to be nervous, in Heero's opinion. After all he was the one meeting her mother. Someone whose opinion carried a lot of weight to Relena. What if she didn't like him?  
_She's not the one who has to worry about anything_.  
They hadn't even talked over what sort of 'story' they were going to spin. Would it be okay to admit that Heero met her while he was a Gundam pilot? Did she even _know_ he was a Gundam pilot? Would she just mention they met at school, which wasn't technically a _lie_ , and hit it off? Rationally, Heero knew that it didn't matter in the grand scheme of things, because Relena saw past that, and Relena was the one he was getting married to.

But could one of the most important people of her life see past that?

Heero pulled into the parking lot and noticed that it wasn't all that busy—but they were still early for their reservation, and it was still early in the evening. It not being busy meant less of a risk of potential threats, and he could easily see where the exits and fire doors were—  
Heero took a deep breath.  
_Just breathe_ , Heero thought. _You don't need to recon every place you go to anymore. The war is over. Your life as a soldier is over._

They found Relena's mother waiting on a bench in a miniature garden area not too far from the front hall of the place.  
_This is as good a time as any to introduce them_ , Relena thought. She cleared her throat.  
"Mother?"  
Her mother looked over and her eyes lit up once she spotted them. She left her place on the bench and walked over to embrace her, giving her a tighter than usual squeeze.  
"Look at you, all dressed up..." She cupped Relena's face with her gloved hands.  
"You saw me a few hours ago, Mother, all I did was change clothes."  
"Yes, but you look so grown up now!" She spotted Heero, who was slightly behind and away from Relena, so that they could have their own space. "Is this him?"

Relena gestured for Heero to come closer. "Yes, Mother, this is Heero."  
Mrs Darlian gave him a smile.  
This was the worst time for Heero to remember he was absolute rubbish when it came to introductions.  
"Mother," Relena said, "this is Heero; Heero, this is Maureen."  
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you," Heero said.  
Mrs Darlian nodded, her smile almost impossibly wide.  
"And it's so nice to finally meet you!" Mrs Darlian said. "You can call me Maureen, or, if it's easier for you, you can even call me 'Mother'."  
"That probably won't be until we're married," Relena said, her cheeks flushing pink.  
Mrs Darlian laughed. "Of course, Relena. I don't wish to rush things, so he can make the adjustment whenever he's ready to."

Heero could tell that she was looking him over, analysing him in a way only parents could, trying to determine _is he right for my daughter?_ No wonder Relena wanted him to dress nice, she wanted him to look as clean cut as possible.  
"When Relena told me your name was Heero Yuy..." The way she said his name was soft, contemplative. "I asked her, 'As in the late colonial leader?' and she said, 'Yes, that's how he spells it.'"  
"Ah, that's right."  
Mrs Darlian chuckled. "Don't be so nervous, Heero. I think Relena made a fine choice when she said yes to you." She turned to Relena. "Milliardo and Lucrezia are inside already, I believe he mentioned heading for the bar, so if you'll wait while I fetch them—"  
"I can get them," Heero said. "It's not a problem."

Relena watched Heero head inside.  
"He seems a little rough around the edges," her mother said, "an intensity I've never seen before, but I can see a kindness in his eyes, and a sweet fondness when he looks at you."  
"So you approve?"  
"I trust you, Relena. I've always told you to follow your heart. So long as he treats you right and loves you, he is fine."

* * *

Zechs had just put his glass down when Heero arrived.  
"Heero."  
"Zechs." Heero took the seat next to him.  
"I'm guessing you met Maureen." Despite Zechs having been 'adopted' by Mrs Darlian, he still referred to her by first name.  
"Yeah."  
"She's not that bad," Noin remarked, moving the ice around in her glass. "She's just a little overprotective when it comes to Relena."  
"And I keep telling her that Relena can take care of herself," Zechs said.  
"Did they send you in for us?" Noin asked.  
"No. I volunteered."

Zechs sounded amused as he drained the rest of his glass.  
"I guess we should make our way up front so we can be seated." He swiveled on the stool before placing the glass back on the coaster. "We don't want to be late for our reservation."  
Zechs walked ahead of them, giving Heero and Noin an opportunity to talk a little.  
"He's a little out of his element," Noin said. "He doesn't do get togethers much anymore."  
"I noticed." _You're not the only fish out of water here, Zechs_.  
"Oh and..." Noin placed her hand on his shoulder. "Congratulations. I always knew you and Relena would end up together. Call it 'intuition'."  
Heero chuckled a little. "Thanks."  
"But if you do anything to hurt her, I will make you regret it. That's not even mentioning what Zechs would do to you."  
"Nothing you or Zechs could do to me would compare with what I would do to myself if I hurt her."  
Noin smiled. "Good. I'm glad we see eye to eye." She gestured towards the door. "Let's join the others."

* * *

Heero had never felt so out of place at a dinner table before. First of all, he couldn't remember the last time he'd actually _eaten_ at one—he normally just ate at his computer, or snuck in quick meals whenever he could if he was at work, usually take out or something Duo brought in that he'd made himself. But here he was, at a dinner table, with a fancy fabric tablecloth and decent tableware and no one had their elbows on it. He sat in between Relena and Noin, which was fine, because it meant that he didn't have to talk since they did most of the conversing, enough to make up for both himself and Zechs.

_At least Zechs looks almost as uncomfortable as I feel_.

"So, Heero," Mrs Darlian said. "Relena tells me you do work for Preventers."  
"Yeah."  
"What kind of work?" she pressed.  
"Mostly IT and networking. I do some recon work every now and then when they need me."  
She nodded and took a sip of water.  
"Heero's skill set comes highly recommended," Noin added. "He's one of our best agents."  
"And your educational prospects?"

Heero gave Relena a look as he buttered one of the free bread rolls the wait staff would bring out at the start of every meal.  
"I told her you were interested in going back to school at some point," Relena said, while giving him a look that said _play along, please_. Heero had, at one point, considered college. He didn't _need_ a degree, and though he wasn't exactly certified, he was trained in various skill sets, computer tech being one of them. Heero finished high school after the Uprising, because that was what normal kids his age did. And while he did reasonably well and his prospects were great, he wasn't exactly motivated. Why did he need to be when Une said she could take him when he was ready?

"I was thinking maybe a technical school," Heero said. "Maybe a university. I'd have to explore all of my options first before I made any kind of decision."  
Mrs Darlian seemed satisfied with that, because she soon asked Noin, "How are the twins doing, Lucrezia?" and became engrossed in a conversation about how Mills and Naina were currently in the 'no' phase of toddlerhood and different ways to combat that.

Relena leaned in close to Heero to whisper in his ear, "She really likes you." And as if to reassure him, she smiled.  
"Did she tell you that?" Heero knew that most of the people in Relena's life only told her what they thought she wanted to hear, which meant plenty of praise and empty compliments. He hoped her mother was more honest.  
"Yes, but I can tell she means it."

He could tell Mrs Darlian was even more impressed with the fact that Heero could communicate, in perfect French, with the sommelier, who looked older than the space colonies and was having problems communicating in English. Despite the fact that the world was unified, there were many places that still kept their local language in tact, despite English being the official language of business in ESUN.  
"I didn't know you could speak French," Relena murmured.  
"I can speak a lot of languages," Heero answered. "Doctor J had me do a language study so that no matter where I went, I could always speak colloquially."

Heero never had to actually use his French until now.  
_Go figure_.

* * *

"I think everything went well," Relena said, as she stepped inside Heero's apartment. "Wouldn't you say so?"  
Heero undid the buttons on his shirt and tossed it in the hamper. Relena touched his shoulder, her face betraying her concern.  
"Heero?"  
"Does your mother know how we met?"

Everything got really quiet until Relena sighed.  
"Of course she does, Heero."  
"I don't mean the 'we met as classmates' thing. I mean the 'he was a Gundam pilot' thing."  
"Is that what you were so worried about throughout dinner? That she was going to judge you because of that?"  
Heero turned to face her. "Not in so many words."  
"She accepts Milliardo despite the fact that he was with OZ and the White Fang. It's in the past now, Heero."  
Heero untucked his shirt, slow and methodical, as he contemplated her words.  
_It's all in the past now_ , he thought. _Some people can't escape their past—I can't._

"You don't think it's the least bit ironic that a pacifist is marrying an ex-Gundam pilot?"  
Relena wrapped her arms around his shoulders.  
"Not one bit," she said. "After all, you had a pacifist fighting among you. Not everyone has a choice when it comes to fighting. And it doesn't bother my mother one bit, because everyone has a story. All she cares about is that you treat me right and you love me."  
Heero's gaze softened as he wrapped his arms around her waist.  
"I do," Heero said, his voice just above a whisper. "More than anything."  
It was the closest he'd come to saying he loved her. It was a start.

Relena kissed him, soft and sweet, before resting her head on his shoulder.  
"She _did_ say you seemed rough around the edges. And you are. But she also sees the same things that I see in you. I know there are people in this world who will never get to know the Heero that I know, and that's fine, though I think that's a shame. But you are not a terrible person, Heero. That she knows for a fact. You're just..."  
"Intense?"  
"Intense is a good word for it."  
"Apparently that was Zechs' first impression of me as well. Should I try and be less intense?"

Relena giggled. "I don't think you could if you tried."

**Author's Note:**

> God, okay, this took months (!!!) for me to write and finish, mostly because real life kept getting in the way and I just wasn't really motivated to do anything writing related. I started this in July if that's any indication of how long that lack of motivation went for.
> 
> This was all born out of me hating that stupid note Heero gave Relena at the end of Frozen Teardrop and me saying, "I can do that whole thing so much better." This is the result.
> 
> Lyrics featured in this chapter are from Taylor Swift's "Mine".


End file.
